3. Remain curious

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“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”

-Albert Einstein

 

I consider curiosity to be one of my most important core values.

I really started to see the world differently when I stopped beating myself up for taking (or not taking) certain actions and started instead getting curious about what was driving my behavior.

We can look at my binge eating behavior as an example.

For the longest time, I was just ashamed of my behavior. I kept swearing that I wouldn’t do it anymore and I kept finding myself at the bottom of another pint of ice cream or another bag of animal crackers.

I thought there was something wrong with me.

It wasn’t until I started to get curious about the why behind my behavior that my binge eating behavior started to change.

We can look at my consistency/ inconsistency with social media.

I think that having a presence on social media is an important part of my business- and it is also something that I struggle with.

I found myself being really afraid to post anything over the last few months. Having a posting schedule definitely has helped with some of that apprehension- but not solved the problem entirely.

At a certain point- i was like hey Tiana- why are you beating yourself up so much? What’s really going on here? why are you so afraid to post anything?

I think a lot of what has been going on is that my Instagram community has kind of become my only community (apart from my family) since the lockdown. Because I live with my grandmother, I still am very cautious about being in public- I haven’t taken any trips- and I don’t really do too much other than go to the grocery store or pool.

I think with my decrease in real human contact, I became wrapped up in how people perceive me on social media.

Once I realized that was a large part of what was going on- I was like oh- that makes sense. And I was able to challenge my belief systems about how much I really wanted people’s opinions of me on social media to influence my actions.

I can even apply my “remain curious” principle to dealing with the dynamics of living with my family as my Mom fulfills her role as caretaker for my Grandmoms.

Instead of rolling my eyes all the time (lols) at the way she chooses to do (or not do) certain things- I can get curious about why she’s chosen that method.

I think curiosity at its core really invites us to look at things from a different perspective.

I mean this is the approach I take with my clients as well.

I wonder why your body is responding like that…

I wonder why you’re really struggling with changing that behavior…

I wonder why we keep encountering that belief system…

If you’ve studied positive psychology, you’ve probably heard of the broaden and build theory. The basic idea here is that positive emotional states give us access to more possibilities for how to manage situations.

I think curiosity does the same thing- it gives us the opportunity to consider different factors that are driving our actions and therefore the opportunity to consider different ways of managing those actions.

I think embracing curiosity has played a foundational role in the person I am today.

It has allowed me to leave my career job as a PT (asking what are some other ways I can apply my skills?)

It has allowed me to continue improving as an oly lifter (asking what mobility limitations are holding me back? how can i improve my positions?)

It has allowed me manage the stress of living with my family (asking what can i learn from watching my mom take care of my grandmother?)

It has allowed me to navigate some past childhood trauma with a parent (asking how can i demonstrate to myself that i take responsibility for my actions and that i no longer blame this parent for my behavior?)

I think often times we mistake talent for curiosity.

I think curiosity is one of the factors what allows us to stick with things long enough to appear talented :))

xo

Tiana

 

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